Pissed Off
Feb 4, 2010 by Nick
If you have not figured it out yet there are a lot of things that piss me off. I thought I would dedicate my story this week to a few things that are currently pissing me off. Enjoy!
Head Mics
I hate musicians that wear head mics. I am not sure if that is the technical term for them but they are the microphones that you can wear on your head and they make you look like you work in a call center. There are several offenders that wear these things: Garth Brooks, Madonna, Janet Jackson, most boy bands, Rascal Flatts, and Britney Spears. I am sure the “artists” that use these things claim that that give them the ability to provide a better show for their fans but really it just makes them look like a bunch of assholes. If a standard microphone is good enough for The Rolling Stones, Elvis, The Who, Led Zeppelin, and any other band that is worth a shit then it is good enough for you Garth Brooks. Just because you are wearing that gay ass microphone when you sing “The Dance” does not make that song suck any less.
Keytars
The house band in hell will have a guy playing a keytar. I am not sure who thought it was cool to combine the elements of a keyboard and a guitar into one instrument but that guy should be getting ass kicked every day of his life. Keytars are horrible and I dare you to show me a band that is worth a shit that uses a keytar. I think in the 80′s it was mandatory to have a keytar player in your band. Buy the way if the lead singer is rocking a keytar they are also typically using a head mic.
“Eclectic” Taste In Music
I get sick and tired of people telling me how “eclectic” their taste in music is. I find it interesting that everybody has such a diverse taste in music yet they all listen to the same bullshit bands. If you tell me you listen to “everything” and then follow that statement up by saying how you like everything from Puddle of Mudd, to Hinder, to Staind, to Shinedown then what you are basically telling me is that you have shitty taste in music or that you have no idea what the definition of eclectic is. Also don’t bother throwing in that you like the Beatles because everybody fucking likes the Beatles and you don’t qualify as a Beatles fan if the only Beatles album you own is the “1″ album that everybody and their brother bought a few years ago.
New Country
New Country or 99% of the music played on mainstream Country Radio sucks. I have said it before and I will say it again that is not country music. Tom Petty said it best when he said it is bad pop music with a fiddle. I could go on and on but Taylor Swift and shit like that is not country music. If you tell me you like that type of music then what you are saying is that you are a musical retard or maybe just a retard in general.
The Black Eyed Peas
They are everything that is wrong with music and they will not go away. They seem to have a new song out every other week and it immediately shoots to the top of the charts. If they are not releasing music then they are doing solo projects, producing other artists, or they are featured on other artist’s records. They are on every award show and commercial on television. If I see one more song featuring will.i.am I will go nuts. I would also like to vote for the line “I’m so 2008, you’re so 2000 late” as one of the worst lines I have ever heard in any song that has ever been played and that includes going all the way back to prehistoric times.
KISS
Between Dave and Aaron I have to hear day after day how great KISS is, how underrated and disrespected they are. I have to hear how many albums they have sold and that they are getting screwed by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The bottom line is KISS is irrelevant and has been for about 25 years or so. If they were so fucking great they would be in the Hall of Fame and trust me the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame does nothing but gain credibility every year they keep those shit bags out of there.
Christian Music
I hate Christian music more than you can ever understand. Almost every Christian rock or pop song I have ever heard is absolutely atrocious. The music is horrible and the lyrics are even worse. 99.9% of that shit would never get released if it was not under the Christian umbrella. It all seems like it is created just to suck young people into organized religion. It is fake and cheesy. Nobody could love God as much as the people that make this music claim they do. I don’t want to hear about Amy Grant or Michael W. Smith either because they suck ass. I am pretty sure the head mic and keytar got started in the Christian music scene.
John Cougar
Let me let you guys in on a little secret his name is John Mellencamp. It is not Johnny Cougar, John Cougar, or John Cougar Mellencamp. I literally want to punch the person in the face that calls him by the above names. He has not gone by any of those names in about 25 years. I understand that in 1982 when he made “Jack & Diane” that was his name but it is not now so the next time John Mellencamp is in town for a concert please do not come up to me and ask me if I am going to the “Cougar” concert. By the way the song is called “Pink Houses” not “Little Pink Houses”. Get your head out of your ass.
Later,
Nick
Posted in Nick's Rants
That was funny Nick…for the most part. I know you pretty well buddy, and its my bet that if you had the choice between a Black Eye Peas concert, Christian, new Country, or Kiss, I know which one you would choose, “stop hate (pause)’n.”