I was thinking what I wanted write about and in honor of me taking too long to write something fresh and I figured I would write about something else that has been taking awhile and that is the arrival of the new Guns N’ Roses album Chinese Democracy.

I hate to even call this a Guns and Roses album.  The band Guns N’ Roses to me consists of Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Axl Rose, Duff McKagan and Steven Adler.  That is the band that made one of the baddest fucking records ever made,  an album called Appetite For Destruction.  That album was released 21 years ago and still sounds perfect this very minute.  That was the band that I thought was going to be my generation’s Rolling Stones.  That was the band that made all of the other hair bands seem like bigger pussies than I already thought they were.  They did not need to wear makeup like the other bands of that era.  They did not need to to put half naked girls in their videos.  That stuff all seemed a little bit silly when you listened to “Appetite”.  They then went on to release 2 huge steaming piles of shit called Use Your Illusion I and II.  Slowly but surely band members began to quit and finally there was no more Guns N’ Roses.  It sucked but I thought at least they gave us one of the greatest albums I have ever heard and by the time they broke up the music world was changing.  There were bands like Nirvana, The Black Crowes, Pearl Jam.  Great bands that made me forget about the demise of GNR.

Just about the time I was forgetting about the breakup I start hearing there is a new album in the works and it has a title called Chinese Democracy. This was in 1994.  It is now 2008 and we are only a few short weeks away from the release of Chinese Democracy.  Gone are Slash and Izzy but now we have Richard Fortus and Robin Finck. They now have not 1 but 2 keyboard players.  No more Steven Adler on drums he has been replaced my Bryan Mantia.  It is just too bad that Buckethead is not still in the band.  If you are not familiar with Buckethead he is the guitar player that wears a KFC bucket on his head.  I thought only homeless people wore KFC buckets on their heads, I guess I was wrong.

So the new GNR or as I prefer to call them the Axl Rose Project have an album coming out next month.  It is hard for me to believe that this album is going to be worth a shit.  Am I  really going to hear it and say “wow that was worth the entire 14 years I have been waiting”?  During the past 14 years I have grown to despise Axl Rose.  I mean does it really take 14 years to make a damn album?  The Beatles made Sgt. Peppers in less than a year.  I am sure this album will come out and sell way too many copies but will suck and eventually Axl will go back into the seclusion, hopefully for at least another 14 years.  Maybe during the next 14 years he will figure out that a guy in his mid 40′s with pasty white skin and red hair does not look cool with his hair braided and a bandana, although at least he does not have a chicken bucket on his head.

There is one good thing that is coming out of this debacle and that is that everyone in the country except Slash and Buckethead will be receiving a free can of Dr. Pepper.  I am sure that will be way more satisfying than the album.

Later,

Nick

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